The count down continues........day 139...............

Greetings world!

So a friend of mine asked me today why am I doing this blog.................. so I told her I wanted to create a space for queer womyn like me to have a place to voice their feelings when placed into spaces that are considered "straight" by those who are closest to us i.e. family & friends who do not connect with our lifestyle therefore failing to realize that sharing my life with a wedding to my partner is a fantasy of mine that I never thought of as much until my bestie got engaged. I mean, I never not wanted to get married just because I wanted to marry a woman.

I think it's also heavy on my mind because this is the one person who I shared all of those little girl dreams with; we've been friends literally since birth and there's no place else I'd rather be than helping her get to her special day but I can't help but wonder will I ever have one too? And yes I get that this isn't about me but this blog is about how I am working through these feelings of being the right hand in a straight wedding as a queer girl. It's amazing how easy a thing can seem until it's real.

Like I told you all yesterday I don't think my folks have shared with any of their friends how proud they are of their potential daughter-in-law (even though they should because she's awesome, everything they wanted me to find in a man and more in a slightly different package), when the news first circulated about my besties engagement I asked my Mother if she was planning on sending out "the good news"  about my engagement and the response was silence...............so that's why I blog in a nutshell! 

So moving forward.......... my bestie is going through the most ooohhhh to be the bride to be! Not only did she just move to a new state last Friday and is starting a new job on Monday all while planning a destination wedding she is a true super trooper. Today we finalized the bachelorette party!!!! She is going to be a beautiful bride and I am excited so we were definitely productive today as always more to come!

Peace,

Adge 

Being a supportive friend day 140

Greetings world!!

So many of you out there may be just like me...........here I am happy, in an awesome relationship, transitioning in my career and then boom my (straight) best friend gets engaged. Now it's beautiful because she is marrying her long time boyfriend who I adore and then suddenly it hits me! Her wedding is exactly what my parents envisioned for my life and this is the final straw that makes my lesbian relationship real to them so I am forced to ask myself how can I be the best bridesmaid to my best friend who is totally unaware that her new life unfolding is opening the door to my reality because the truth is I want to marry my girlfriend.

I want to send out invitations. I want to invite all the parents of the kids I grew up with who attended my Debutante Ball and I wonder if I ever will (I'm the one who stepped outside of the box and my folks never told a soul as far as I know......) I have 140 days until she gets married and I hope to answer some of these questions because it's been a long time since I've been home and I'm not in the closet for anybody!

Is there anybody out there that's been in a situation like mine? I'd love to hear from you if you have................Now if I can only get this woman to choose her colors.............the invites need to go out! More to come!

Adge